PostAWeek 3: January Performer of the Month By David “Dissociative Identity Disorder” Dysart

PostAWeek 3: January Performer of the Month

By David “Dissociative Identity Disorder” Dysart

Tom and Chuck were transcribed in front of an imaginary audience

Chuck: Hello, PostAWeek readers and welcome to the first ever Performer of the Month on this new platform.

Tom: Yes and a musical interlude between the boring slog that was last week and whatever nonsense gets posted next week!

Chuck: Tom! On our first episode?!? What happens if David reads this?

Tom: Come on, like he’s going to read this. It’s his first week off in... how long has this WeekPosting thing gone one?

Chuck: This is the third PostAWeek actually.

Tom: Oh, yeesh. When he called me, he made it sound like he was burnt out and needed some help.

Paul: Hey, guys, how about we get back on track?

Chuck: Sure thing, Paul. For newcomers to the Chuck and Tom sho-

Tom: TomChucking!

Chuck: What?

Tom: That’s what we’re going to call our show from now on!

Chuck: Yeah, no...

Paul: Actually, it’s not bad.

Chuck: Well, we can discuss this later. Anyways, Paul here is our producer.

Tom: Yeah, usually he won’t chime up, but Chuck here can get a bit off-track.

Chuck: ME?!? That was your fault!

Tom: I’m not too sure why you have to point fingers, but can we just get back to it? This is kind of our first impression with the PostAWeek readers, and we probably should put our best foot forward.

Chuck: You motherfu-

Tom: Chuck! If anything it’d be “Chuck’s wifefu-

Chuck: No! The “Chuck’s wife” jokes stay on the Bloggaday. I’m not spending another year of you talking about sleeping with my wife.

Tom: Fine, she can just tell you about it off the air.

Chuck: ...

Tom: SO let’s get to it!

Chuck: Yeah... Every month, we’re going to bring to you four of the biggest entertainment powerhouses in the life of David Dysart for the month and crown a winner. These will come from any realm: music, podcasts, TV, anything really!

Tom: Real specific there, Chuck. Let’s just get to our first performer.

Chuck: First up is Macklemore for his hit debut studio album The Heist

Tom:  And quite the album it is! With great features, amazing songs, and a brilliant theme, The Heist definitely earned it’s spot here on the Performer of the Month.

Chuck: Wow, that was actually really concise. Did you take some classes when the Bloggaday when off the internet?

Tom: Nope, just a cold ass honkey

Chuck: Ugh... Well, second up is...

Tom: Ascension by Gary Games

Chuck: This board game gone iPhone has been a staple decompressor for PostAWeek author, David Dysart, and an obvious pick for contender this month.

Tom: And following that stiff performance is... UFC: The Ultimate Fighting Championship

Chuck: Yes, Fuel TV’s regular broadcasting of regular UFC content like round tables and recent UFC specials has occupied a lot of TV time at the PostAWeek house this month.

Tom: And rounding out the list this month is none other than the walking cadaver, the future dark overlord, Scott Sigler for his podcast novel, The MVP.

Chuck: Scott Sigler, a regular performer here on the PotM, when David was able to catch up on the podcast, Sigler was able to sure up his spot on the January Performer of the Month.

Tom: And there we have it. Macklemore (featuring Ryan Lewis), Ascension by Gary Games, UFC: The Ultimate Fighting Championship, and Scott Sigler are our performers this month.

Chuck: So our Performer is...

Paul: dududududuuddududududududu

Tom: Macklemore (featuring Ryan Lewis)!

Chuck: And there we have it. The very first Performer of the Month for the PostAWeek is Macklemore

Tom: And there we have it. Given the fact we’re already drastically over our 500-word limit, we should probably go ahead and end it there.

Chuck: Wow, I didn’t even notice that. Good eye there, To-

Tom: Yeah, well, things to see, people to do.

Chuck: Oh, is this another joke about my wife?

Tom: Ah, man, you ended that joke a little prematurely. Kind of like las-

Chuck: Thank you all for being here, folks. Until next time. I’m Chuck.

Tom: I’m Tom!

Chuck: Enjoy the next month of PostAWeeks

Listening to

Season Finale of Breaking Bad. Woooo

Twitter Tag

Finally. Tom and Chuck have come back! To David’s writings. Only @ http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek3

Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way

http://twitter.com/daviddysart All in all, it’s just another post in the feed

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ I’m gonna post some tumblrs

http://hangingonbelay.blogspot.com/ Got you stuck on my belay, on my belay like a figure 8

http://daviddysart.blogspot.com/ Posts become as vapid as a blogger out in Starbucks

https://www.facebook.com/thedaviddysart?sk=notes This site has got to be the most pretentious thing

http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart Shut up and let me show

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

158 – Boxer V Brief – Short, concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays of the Second Trigaday

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday158

159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being something no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday159   

174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD– While I think it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought post shows how much I have to FILTER it…

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday174  

183 – SotW 13 – This one had it all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made its way into this one, so it’s a good one to try.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday183  

134 – SotW 5 – This particular Song of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their original concept. After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him a bit which caused changes to Chuck.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday134  

227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday227

PostAWeek 2.5: A Bloggaday flashback: Song of the Week 13

PostAWeek 2.5: A Bloggaday flashback: Song of the Week 13

By David “Dissociative Identity Disorder” Dysart

In honor of the and the holiday everyone got off, I decided to post a bit of a flashback from my old Bloggaday... days (Bloggaday 183) to push the upcoming PostAWeek this Friday featuring Tom and Chuck. Enjoy!

Tom and Chuck were transcribed in front of an imaginary audience

Chuck: Hello once again, Bloggaday Readers, from the Song of the Week. I am Chuck

Tom: …

Chuck: Tom

Tom: …

Chuck: Tom!

Tom: Huh uh, wu?

Chuck: Wake up.

Tom: Oh, sorry, Chuck. I am Tom, and welcome to the SotW

Chuck: Are you okay?

Tom: Oh, yeah. Late night last night.

Chuck: You work ONE day a week. Why do you party thee night before it?

Tom: For your information, I partied last night and the 6 nights before it.

Chuck: That doesn’t explain why you just HAD to go out last night.

Tom: Well, your wife wasn’t free the other 6.

Chuck: Up yours, Tom.

Tom: No, it’s just that I didn’t think we were going to do this today.

Chuck: Why wouldn’t we?

Tom: Well, David started TWO different Bloggadays over the weekend that are going to be multi-Bloggaday posts and he’s got that song thing he wants to post.

Chuck: He wouldn’t bump us just for, wait, what song thing?

Tom: Oh, it’s just some Facebook thing. You’ll see it in a few days apparently.

Chuck: Whatever. Without further ado, this weeks song. Wait, how the heck do you know about, and I don’t?

Tom: Oh, well when your wife rolls, she likes having a posse, and when we stop down because she’s feeling a little chafed, we have to talk about something.

Chuck: …

Tom: Without further ado, the Song this week is

Paul: dududududuuddududududududu

Tom: Thanks, Paul

“You coul

Paul*: No Problem, Tom.

Tom: That was a rhetorical ‘thanks,’ Paul.

Chuck: Can a thanks be rhetoric,

Paul: Sorry guys.

Tom: Ha!

Chuck: Can we make a rule that Paul can’t interrupt us?

Tom: That’ll probably be good, Paul. No offense, but can you just stick to the drum role?

Chuck:…

Tom: Well, you probably could have said something there instead of just nosing your head

Chuck: Yeah, we just mean from here on,

Paul: Okay, guys. No problem.

Tom: Ha!

Chuck: I work with children…

Tom: And I only like one of my coworkers. Care to guess which one?

Chuck: No I wouldn’t really li,

Paul: I would think me, Tom.

Chuck: Two things, Paul. One, he was talking to me, and 2, it was rhetorical.

Tom: No it wasn’t. I was trying to liven up the SotW with a little game.

Chuck: …

Tom: Without further ado, this week’s song is

Paul: dududududududududuuudu

Tom: “You Could Be Her”

By

Jonathan Coulton

Chuck: Wow, after like a month of snubs, JoCo is really starting to dominate the Song of the Week.

Tom: True, but it’s been kind of a slow week for music. There hasn’t been a lot of songs to get much individual focus.

Chuck: Well, whatever he’s doing, he needs to keep it up.

Tom: Well, I think I can shed a little light on the subject with this word from our sponsors

Chuck: When did we get sponsors?

Tom: Did none of your teachers tell you NOT to talk when going into a commercial?

/commercial

Today, Maroon 5, Jonathan Coulton, and AC/DC all moved into the same playlist. How will these VERY different performers handle being on the same iPod?

Find out this Fall, only on Bloggaday.

Check out you local internet providers for times

/commercial

Chuck: Alright, then.

Tom: Yep.

Chuck: …

Tom: Well, we already at 500 words.

Chuck: Sounds like the perfect time to wrap this Song of the Week up then.

Tom: After you.

Chuck: Thanks. And thank you, Bloggaday Reader, for reading yet another edition of the weekly Song of the Week. Come back next Monday for another episode. Until then, I’m Chuck

Tom: And I’m Tom.

Listening to

Walking On Air by Kerli

Twitter Tag

Song of the Week 13 is up and apparently tired from partying with Chuck’s wife last night, only on Bloggaday http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday183

Exit stage right to my corner of the interweb > \/

http://twitter.com/daviddysart Plaster Caster Twitter Strutter

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ Hung My Head in a Tumblr

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/ A Little Less Conversation and a Whole Lotta Love

http://www.facebook.com/thedaviddysart?ref=sgm If I Never See Your Face Again

Youtube Awesomeness

http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart Still deciding to try to capture it or let it slip

For the Piccaday

http://s1000.photobucket.com/albums/af128/daviddysart/Piccaday/ Says I broke it twice, I must have done it half a dozen times

http://thepiccaday.blogspot.com/ Because Yesterdays ain’t got nothing on me

http://www.flickr.com/photos/daviddysart/sets/72157623465996877/ From the nest in the hills chillin’ with Flynt

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

1 The basics

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/02/bloggaday-1.html

3 Get PWND with story content

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/02/bloggaday-3-1st-pwnd-edition-ever.html

73 Mash-up of science and relatable humor? It’s just Bloggaday

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/04/bloggaday-73-pwnd-with-side-of-bacon.html

85 Deadpan humor and drama, what more can you want?

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/05/bloggaday-85-my-public-apology-for.html

118 Maybe some practical real world advice drowned in humor.

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/06/bloggaday-118-my-guide-to-efficiency.html

137 My new favorite segments, the Sotw and PoM with Tom and Chuck

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/07/bloggaday-137-june-performer-of-month.html

183 August 16

* For the unfamiliar, Paul is the producer and fictitious transcriber of the Song of the Week

PostAWeek 2: The Davidian Blog – Music: The Artist, The Single, The Album

PostAWeek 2: The Davidian Blog – Music: The Artist, The Single, The Album

By David “The Single” Dysart

In the world of self-induced ADD and shortened attention spans, I’ll admit, I have fallen into this societal spiral. It’s definitely come out in my music. I’m a child of the iTunes generation. If I can just pick up a single, why buy the cow?

Now, this doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally break the zeitgeist and pick up the occasional album. In fact, when I started to listen to music, what maybe 5 years ago? All I had was a binder of CDs my dad had (mostly classic rock and roll, hence my current affinity for it).

“If I can just pick up a single, why buy the cow?”

I will still pick up the occasional CD, and I suppose that’s what this particular article about. Certain bands I’ll pick up when they come out with an album. Maroon 5 for example will just happen. Their last album was a bit on the poppy side (and a terrible album cover) for my taste, but it was still a good album. I also have a few Guns ‘N’ Roses albums, but I didn’t pick up Chinese Democracy. I’ll just hold on to the good ol’ days.

But this brings us to the nowadays. I picked up all 3 of Green Day’s new albums (Uno, Dos, Tres - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMOlGHJhb4Y), which were all cool, but I also picked up The Heist (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6lbgd2yMz4 ) from Macklemore and Ryan Lewis after watching his cold-@$$ honkyness and checking out his other singles. I’m not a hip hop/rap kind of guy, but he’s rather amazing. A bit crude at times, but that kind of just comes with it I think. Immensely happy with that album pickup.

“I’ll just hold on to the good ol’ days.”

And then I picked up Shiny Toy Guns’ III (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZkQrbzFRuA), which granted I thought was a different band, but I ended up enjoying rather spectacularly (who I thought it was -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3YmaADISlo). Actually, I think @Wendy Billings might enjoy them as well.

While that was quite the fortuitous mistake, the last album I’ve picked up was with full intent (actually “With Full Intent” is an amazing album name in and of itself). I got the soundtrack for Django Unchained (both a brilliant movie and amazing bit of music [but that’s to be expected. It’s a Tarantino flick])

“actually “With Full Intent” is an amazing album name in and of itself”

The last item on the agenda if Jack White’s solo album, Blunderbuss. That’s just like a blanket and bottle to a baby. That’s just about all I have to say about that.

Well, this has been terribly boring, so I won’t torture you all for another hundred words. Just tune in next week for something actually amusing. Do enjoy the music though. It’s something you could take away from this at least. That, and this short closing message from our chairman...

So now America, with an open USB port and an empty hard drive, I say unto you in the words of my uncle: 'Allez coustic!

Listening to

Honey Honey and their impeccable ability to get famous people to cameo in their music videos

Twitter Tag

 If you read one "lost episode" this year, don't let it be this one, only on PostAWeek 

Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way

http://twitter.com/daviddysart All in all, it’s just another post in the feed

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ I’m gonna post some tumblrs

http://hangingonbelay.blogspot.com/ Got you stuck on my belay, on my belay like a figure 8

http://daviddysart.blogspot.com/ Posts become as vapid as a blogger out in Starbucks

http://tiny.cc/Facebook_DavidDysart This site has got to be the most pretentious thing

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

158 – Boxer V Brief – Short, concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays of the Second Trigaday

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday158

159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being something no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday159

174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD– While I think it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought post shows how much I have to FILTER it…

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday174

183 – SotW 13 – This one had it all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made its way into this one, so it’s a good one to try.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday183

134 – SotW 5 – This particular Song of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their original concept. After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him a bit which caused changes to Chuck.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday134

227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday227