PostAWeek 3: January Performer of the Month
By David “Dissociative
Identity Disorder” Dysart
Tom and Chuck were transcribed in
front of an imaginary audience
Chuck: Hello, PostAWeek readers and
welcome to the first ever Performer of the Month on this new platform.
Tom: Yes and a musical interlude
between the boring slog that was last week and whatever nonsense gets posted
next week!
Chuck: Tom! On our first episode?!?
What happens if David reads this?
Tom: Come on, like he’s going to
read this. It’s his first week off in... how long has this WeekPosting thing
gone one?
Chuck: This is the third PostAWeek
actually.
Tom: Oh, yeesh. When he called me,
he made it sound like he was burnt out and needed some help.
Paul: Hey, guys, how about we get
back on track?
Chuck: Sure thing, Paul. For
newcomers to the Chuck and Tom sho-
Tom: TomChucking!
Chuck: What?
Tom: That’s what we’re going to
call our show from now on!
Chuck: Yeah, no...
Paul: Actually, it’s not bad.
Chuck: Well, we can discuss this
later. Anyways, Paul here is our producer.
Tom: Yeah, usually he won’t chime
up, but Chuck here can get a bit off-track.
Chuck: ME?!? That was your fault!
Tom: I’m not too sure why you have
to point fingers, but can we just get back to it? This is kind of our first
impression with the PostAWeek readers, and we probably should put our best foot
forward.
Chuck: You motherfu-
Tom: Chuck! If anything it’d be
“Chuck’s wifefu-
Chuck: No! The “Chuck’s wife” jokes
stay on the Bloggaday. I’m not spending another year of you talking about
sleeping with my wife.
Tom: Fine, she can just tell you
about it off the air.
Chuck: ...
Tom: SO let’s get to it!
Chuck: Yeah... Every month, we’re
going to bring to you four of the biggest entertainment powerhouses in the life
of David Dysart for the month and crown a winner. These will come from any
realm: music, podcasts, TV, anything really!
Tom: Real specific there, Chuck.
Let’s just get to our first performer.
Chuck: First up is Macklemore for
his hit debut studio album The Heist
Tom: And quite the album it is! With great
features, amazing songs, and a brilliant theme, The Heist definitely earned it’s spot here on the Performer of the
Month.
Chuck: Wow, that was actually
really concise. Did you take some classes when the Bloggaday when off the
internet?
Tom: Nope, just a cold ass honkey
Chuck: Ugh... Well, second up is...
Tom: Ascension by Gary Games
Chuck: This board game gone iPhone
has been a staple decompressor for PostAWeek author, David Dysart, and an
obvious pick for contender this month.
Tom: And following that stiff
performance is... UFC: The Ultimate Fighting Championship
Chuck: Yes, Fuel TV’s regular
broadcasting of regular UFC content like round tables and recent UFC specials
has occupied a lot of TV time at the PostAWeek house this month.
Tom: And rounding out the list this
month is none other than the walking cadaver, the future dark overlord, Scott
Sigler for his podcast novel, The MVP.
Chuck: Scott Sigler, a regular
performer here on the PotM, when David was able to catch up on the podcast,
Sigler was able to sure up his spot on the January Performer of the Month.
Tom: And there we have it. Macklemore
(featuring Ryan Lewis), Ascension by Gary Games, UFC: The Ultimate Fighting
Championship, and Scott Sigler are our performers this month.
Chuck: So our Performer is...
Paul: dududududuuddududududududu
Tom: Macklemore (featuring Ryan
Lewis)!
Chuck: And there we have it. The
very first Performer of the Month for the PostAWeek is Macklemore
Tom: And there we have it. Given
the fact we’re already drastically over our 500-word limit, we should probably
go ahead and end it there.
Chuck: Wow, I didn’t even notice
that. Good eye there, To-
Tom: Yeah, well, things to see,
people to do.
Chuck: Oh, is this another joke
about my wife?
Tom: Ah, man, you ended that joke a
little prematurely. Kind of like las-
Chuck: Thank you all for being
here, folks. Until next time. I’m Chuck.
Tom: I’m Tom!
Chuck: Enjoy the next month of
PostAWeeks
Listening to
Season Finale of
Breaking Bad. Woooo
Twitter Tag
Finally. Tom and
Chuck have come back! To David’s writings. Only @ http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek3
Going faster than a
“Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way
http://twitter.com/daviddysart All in
all, it’s just another post in the feed
http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ I’m
gonna post some tumblrs
http://hangingonbelay.blogspot.com/
Got you stuck on my belay, on my belay like a figure 8
http://daviddysart.blogspot.com/
Posts become as vapid as a blogger out in Starbucks
https://www.facebook.com/thedaviddysart?sk=notes
This site has got to be the most pretentious thing
http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart
Shut up and let me show
New to the Bloggaday? These are the
essential posts to see
158 – Boxer V Brief – Short,
concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays of the
Second Trigaday
159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro
Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being something
no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is
174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD– While I think
it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought post shows how
much I have to FILTER it…
183 – SotW 13 – This one had it
all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made its way
into this one, so it’s a good one to try.
134 – SotW 5 – This particular Song
of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their original concept.
After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him a bit which caused
changes to Chuck.
227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was
some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final
Thought I’ve ever thought up.
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