PostAWeek 13: March Performer of the Month
By David “The Most Electrifying Man in Blogger Entertainment” Dysart
Tom and Chuck were
transcribed in front of an imaginary audience
Chuck: Hello ladies-
Tom: Lady.
Chuck: ...
Tom: ...
Chuck: And gentlemen-
Tom: Gentleman.
Chuck: What exactly are you doing?
Tom: Do you really thing that many
people are reading these?? I’m guessing it’s right around two people. One of
each to be hopeful.
Chuck: 2, 20, or 2,000, we have a
job to do. Would you mind terribly if we just got to it?
Tom: You know, if you replace “a
job” with your wife’s name, that sentence becomes even more accurate.
Chuck: Are you done?
Tom: I’ve never had to ask your
wife that.
Chuck: Really?
Tom: Nope. Trust me, I KNOW when
she’s done.
Chuck: Not “really” to that! I
meant “really” to are we really going to start this whole ‘wife’ thing up
again?!
Tom: Ooohh... Yeah, we are.
Chuck: ...
Tom: A distinction without a
difference really there Chuck.
Chuck: Anyways, PostAWeek readers,
I’m Chuck.
Tom: I’m Tom.
Chuck: And welcome to the March
Performer of the Month
Tom: Where we present to you the
major entertainment players in the life of PostAWeek author David Dysart for
the month.
Chuck: Our first performer is...
Chuck: Hmm, more of a character
than an actual performer.
Tom: True, but he seems to be
sneaking into references, shopping, and all kinds of slices of life.
Chuck: Fair enough. And our second
performer is...
Tom: Afro Samurai
Chuck: Again, not an actor?
Tom: Nope. Having burnt through the
season-long series and movie over Spring Break, it inspired PostAWeek author,
David Dysart to start a new bout of woodworking (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=4103890855843&set=a.3694127492015.115248.1840165438&type=3&theater)
and even a minimalist drawing (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=4084310886356&set=a.3563640909932.112922.1840165438&type=3&theater)
Chuck: Alright, well, our third
“performer”
Tom: Did you just “airquote” on a
written blog?
Chuck: I did. If your going to pick
weird “performers” than I’m going to do that.
Tom: But the readers can’t see air
quotes.
Paul: Don’t worry. I’ll add them in
for the blog.
Chuck: Let’s just get our third
performer,
Tom: Alright, Mr. Grumpy.
Chuck: Oh, come on!!
Tom: What? It really stepped up for
the wood working projects.
Chuck: Whatever. Just tell us the
fourth.
Tom: Permanent
Markers
Chuck: :-/
Tom: Don’t just sit there and pout.
Paul: Don’t worry. I’ll get that in
transcription too.
Chuck: Whatever. How on earth can
you justify permanent markers as a performer?
Tom: Because they’re the exclusive
tool for the Minimalist Depictions! https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.3563640909932.112922.1840165438&type=3
Chuck: Whatever. We’re almost at
our 500 words. I’m ready to be done with this stupidness.
Tom: Paul, drumroll please
Paul: dududududuuddududududududu
Chuck: What?
Tom: There, read.
Chuck: Why.
Tom: You haven’t exactly been
involved this week. Announce our winner!
Chuck: I’d announce a performer,
but we have none this week!
Tom: :-(
Chuck: :-|
Tom: Did you get those, Paul?
Paul: Yep, you guys are good.
Tom: Anyways, our Performer of the
Month is...
Chuck: Were any of us supposed to
care?
Tom: Ooo! And off of shear
inspiration, Afro Samurai pulls out a tight race.
Chuck: I take that as a ‘yes’?
Tom: You know what? It’s good to
see in a month of change, transition, and Mile-High Diaries, good ol’-fashioned
ronin values.
Chuck: Wait. Are you ignoring me?
Tom: You know, Paul. It would
really help to have a Performer to close out this show.
Chuck: We’re at 600 words. Just end
the blog, Tom.
Tom: Like a Performer that would
let me know we were over our word count.
Chuck: ...
Tom: You know, remind me to close
out the blog.
Chuck: ...
Tom: Oh well, PostAWeek readers
(both of you).
Paul: Parenthesis?
Tom: Yep, thanks, Paul. That’ll do
it for all of us here at the Performer of the Month. We hope you enjoyed and
come back next week for PostAWeek author, David Dysart’s hard-hitting expose on
heroes, villains, and the antihero.
+copy.JPG)
Listening to
Project Penguin (mix CDs)
Twitter Tag
Transcribing facial expressions, and picking the March Performer
of the Month, on @ http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek13
#SurpriseEnding
Going faster than a
“Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way
http://twitter.com/daviddysart All in
all, it’s just another post in the feed
http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ I’m
gonna post some tumblrs
http://hangingonbelay.blogspot.com/
Got you stuck on my belay, on my belay like a figure 8
http://daviddysart.blogspot.com/
Posts become as vapid as a blogger out in Starbucks
http://tiny.cc/Facebook_DavidDysart
This site has got to be the most pretentious thing
New to the Bloggaday?
These are the essential posts to see
158 – Boxer V Brief –
Short, concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays
of the Second Trigaday
159 – A Phthalates-filled
Sbarro Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being
something no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is
174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD–
While I think it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought
post shows how much I have to FILTER it…
183 – SotW 13 – This one
had it all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made
its way into this one, so it’s a good one to try.
134 – SotW 5 – This
particular Song of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their
original concept. After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him
a bit which caused changes to Chuck.
227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS
pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest
Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.
Dear PostAWeek reader,
We accept the fact that
we had to sacrifice a whole Friday writing, acting, transcribing, and posting whatever
brilliance it is that I posted.
What we did WAS
brilliant, but we think you're crazy to make us write an outro telling you something
clever to leave you on a good note. You leave us how you want to leave us. In
the simplest emotion and the most convenient thoughts. But what we found out is
that each one of you thought this was funny
and witty
and sad
and boring
and a waste of time
Does this leave you on a
good note?
Sincerely yours, the
Performer of the Month Club
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