PostAWeek 23: The Star Trek Parody – A Double PostAWeek
Conundrum pt. 2
By David “Cheap Cardboard
Set” Dysart
Internet: the final domain. These
are the ramblings of the blogship PostAWeek. Its five-hundred-word mission: to
explore strange new thoughts, to seek out new laughs and new silly iterations,
to boldly write what no man has written before.
Staring PostAWeek author David
Dysart as Captain Dave B Sart
With Performer of the Month stars
Chuck Jewels as Doctor McChuckCoy
and
Tom Fosury as Lt. Tomhura.
Also staring Paul, producer of the
Performer of the Month, as Mr. SPaulck
*Cheap cardboard set shakes*
*Even MORE exploding computers*
Lt. Tomhura: Sir, shields down to
18%
SPaulk: Captain, I would advise we
finish this week’s PostAWeek in the very near future. Back-to-back unfinished
posts could destroy our blog.
Captain Dave B Sart: I know, but
our next blog should be the Rock Wall Ronin piece.
McChuckCoy: You want to write an
entirely different blog entry when you have a Star Trek Parody at your
fingertips?! Dammit, Jim. That’s like asking the prom queen to dance with your
high school sweetheart right next to you!
Captain Dave B Sart: Thank you,
Bones. I don’t know what this blog would do without your insightful metaphors.
SPaulk: While I’m sure the readers
are enjoying the banter between you two, we must come to a decision as to which
post to work on. Shall we continue this, or are we going to throw our efforts
into this Rock Wall Ronin post?
Captain Dave B Sart: Lt. Tomhura.
How many words are we at?
Lt. Tomhura: 170, captain.
McChuckCoy: *Whisper* Jim. We have
some footage in med bay. *Whisper*
Captain Dave B Sart: How much are
we talking about?
McChuckCoy: How about a little
respect. It’s dead, Jim!
Captain Dave B Sart: We’re not
exactly in a place to be dancing around this. We need to finish this post
before the PostAWeek destroys our blog!
McChuckCoy: *Whisper* We have about
80 words worth of content *Whisper*
Captain Dave B Sart: We can work
with that. Give it to Scotty. See if we can get a little bit more out of it.
McChuckCoy: Aya, aye, Captain
Captain Dave B Sart: Mr. SPaulk,
take us to warp 1. We need to buy McChuckCoy and Scotty some time.
*Door Opens*
SPaulk: Captain, seeing as we are
300 words, I fail to see how “a little time” will be sufficient to finish this
post.
Captain Dave B Sart: Sometimes, you
don’t need to see something to know it works, Mr. SPaulk. That’s just part of
being human.
McChuckCoy: Jim! We’re ready. Wrap
the post up!
Captain Dave B Sart: Thanks, Bones.
I owe you a bottle of Romulan ale.
McChuckCoy: It better be a dark
brew!
SPaulk: Captain, I fail to see how
we can wrap this post up now.
Captain Dave B Sart: Don’t worry,
Mr. SPaulk. Just trust in your friend.
SPaulk: While I have been and
always shall be your friend, I fail to see the relevance in the current
situation.
Lt. Tomhura: Captain, the
PostAWeek. It’s... finished. We’re pulling away from this week’s
responsibilities.
Mr. SPaulk: That is... extraordinary.
Captain Dave B Sart: Lt. Tomhura,
play the microtape
Lt. Tomhura: Yes, Captain.
3
2
1
The following footage was
discovered in the archives of the PostAWeeks 22. These microtapes have been
labeled as “bloopers.”
Captain Dave B Sart: We have two
PotM torpedoes on board. Can you upload those to deal with these PostAWeeks
McChuckCoy: Dammit, Dave. I’m a
doctor, but an entertainment blogger!
Captain Dave B Sart: Bones! There
are two posts in the med bay. Blank slates!
McChuckCoy: You don’t mean the
March and April Performer of the Months, do you?!?
Captain Dave B Sart: Exactly. Can
you revive them, get their word count up to speed and post them?
McChuckCoy: Captain, I’m fictional
character, not a blogger!
Captain Dave B Sart: Status
report?!
McChuckCoy: We’ve taken heavy
tragedies.
Captain Dave B Sart: Which posts?
McChuckCoy: They’re dead, Dave. All
of them. Domains of Attractiveness, the Heroes, Villains, AntiHeroes trilogy...
Even the poetry dumps.
Captain Dave B Sart: We have to
post tomorrow. In the name of the fallen!
McChuckCoy: In the name of the
fallen? Posting tomorrow would be like ordering a pizza despite the fact that
you just burned that casserole you worked on all day.
Listening to
Fast N Loud
Twitter Tag
Cheap cardboard sets, shields down to 18%, and bloopers in
the med bay? This ending is rather... Incredible http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek23
#StarTrekParody pt 2
Going faster than a
“Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way
http://twitter.com/daviddysart All in
all, it’s just another post in the feed
http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ I’m
gonna post some tumblrs
http://hangingonbelay.blogspot.com/
Got you stuck on my belay, on my belay like a figure 8
http://daviddysart.blogspot.com/
Posts become as vapid as a blogger out in Starbucks
http://tiny.cc/Facebook_DavidDysart
This site has got to be the most pretentious thing
The http my own website
is coming soon .com !!!! in all its Glory - and all its Horror
New to the PostAWeek?
These are the essential posts to see
3 – January Performer of
the Month – The first official appearance of Chuck and Tom on the PostAWeek,
and a good sampler of their style.
5, 6, 7 – The February
Performer of the Month Trilogy – The only Performer of the Month to span 3
posts, Chuck deals with a Batman-quoting Tom for over 1,500 words in this
three-bit of brilliance
8, 9, 10 – The Mile High
Diaries Trilogy – My yearly pilgrimage to the top of Mount Etatslac chronicled
for the future generations to tackle the peak, written article-style with
pulled quotes and all that jazz.
Captain's Log, Stardate 2013.6. We have
encountered a pair of PostAWeeks that nearly destroyed our blog. Through sheer
will and banter, we were able to fill both posts in a matter of days. While
these posts tested the medal of the cast of the Song of the Month, the posts
did fail and made us stronger in the end. I am confident that we will endure. With
nearly 30 more PostAWeeks left, unexplored, we will meet the challenge head-on
and finish the year in an enterprising fashion.
.JPG)
No comments:
Post a Comment