PostAWeek 22: The Star Trek Parody – A Double PostAWeek
Conundrum
By David “Captain Dave B
Sart” Dysart
Internet: the final domain. These
are the ramblings of the blogship PostAWeek. Its five-hundred-word mission: to
explore strange new thoughts, to seek out new laughs and new silly iterations,
to boldly write what no man has written before.
Staring PostAWeek author David
Dysart as Captain Dave B Sart
With Performer of the Month stars
Chuck Jewels as Doctor McChuckCoy
and
Tom Fosury as Lt. Tomhura.
Also staring Paul, producer of the
Performer of the Month, as Mr. SPaulck
*Claxon sounds*
*Computer explodes*
Captain Dave B Sart:
EnginBloggerring, damage report!
EnginBloggerring: Captain, we’re
nearly a full week late!
Captain Dave B Sart: Can we simply
write this week off, as some sort of vacation week!
SPaulk: That would violate our
prime directive, Captain Dave.
Captain Dave B Sart: Prime
directive be damned. How are we supposed to churn out 2 PostAWeeks in as many
days. Their very name implies that they’re only supposed to come about once a
week!
Spaulk: May I remind you, Captain,
that when you were writing the Bloggaday, you wrote a new blog every single day
for an entire year.
Captain Dave B Sart: Lt. Tomhura!
Lt. Tomhura: Yes, Captain!
Chuck: Give me McChuckCoy on the
com. We need his help
Lt. Tomhura: Yes, Captain! Dr.
McChuckCoy, this is communication officer, Lt. Tomhura. Come in Doctor. Report
to the bridge.
McChuckCoy: What is it, Tomhura.
I’m up to my elbows in bursting pixels right now. The haste of this writing in
hemorrhaging the quality of the work. If we don’t get a hold of this quickly,
the words will lose their structural qualtegrity
Captain Dave B Sart: McChuckCoy,
get up here now. We need you on the bridge to deal with this double PostAWeek
on our tail!
McChuckCoy: Dammit, Dave. I’m a
word doctor, not a fictional character! With the bases loaded, you don’t put
your coach up to bat!
SPaulk: McChuckCoy, while I
understand your preference of metaphors to illuminate others of your point of
view, I find this one something of a stretch, even for you.
Captain Dave B Sart: Gentlemen! You
all seem to be forgetting the two PostAWeek threatening to destroy this blog: our
way of life. They mean to put in an end to our success as bloggers of the
Federation. I don’t intend to let this happen. If any of you have any
recommendations, now would be the time to let them be known.
Lt. Tomhura: As communications
officer, I’m noticing our 500-word quota has been rapidly filled by this
brainstorming session. Last week’s PostAWeek has nearly been finished as it is.
Captain Dave B Sart: And this
week’s post?
SPaulk: It would be logical to
assume that if we continue talking at the current rate, it will also be felled
by our banter.
Captain Dave B Sart: Reduce our
state to condition yellow. And for Bloggaday’s sake, turn that claxon off!
*Doors open*
McChuckCoy: He’s dead, Dave. This
blog is at 500 words...
Captain Dave B Sart: That’s one
PostAWeek down. Just one more to go...
McChuckCoy: Tom, why are you actually
wearing the skirt...
Listening to
Alan “F’n Beautiful” Cumming
Twitter Tag
Claxons, a Vulcan, and a fictional male character in a
miniskirt, only @ http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek22
#StarTrek #Parody #McCoyMetaphor
Going faster than a
“Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way
http://twitter.com/daviddysart All in
all, it’s just another post in the feed
http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ I’m
gonna post some tumblrs
http://hangingonbelay.blogspot.com/
Got you stuck on my belay, on my belay like a figure 8
http://daviddysart.blogspot.com/
Posts become as vapid as a blogger out in Starbucks
http://tiny.cc/Facebook_DavidDysart
This site has got to be the most pretentious thing
The http my own website
is coming soon .com !!!! in all its Glory - and all its Horror
New to the PostAWeek?
These are the essential posts to see
3 – January Performer of
the Month – The first official appearance of Chuck and Tom on the PostAWeek,
and a good sampler of their style.
5, 6, 7 – The February
Performer of the Month Trilogy – The only Performer of the Month to span 3
posts, Chuck deals with a Batman-quoting Tom for over 1,500 words in this
three-bit of brilliance
8, 9, 10 – The Mile High
Diaries Trilogy – My yearly pilgrimage to the top of Mount Etatslac chronicled
for the future generations to tackle the peak, written article-style with
pulled quotes and all that jazz.
Cue foreshadowing:
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