PostAWeek 22: The Star Trek Parody – A Double PostAWeek Conundrum By David “Captain Dave B Sart” Dysart

PostAWeek 22: The Star Trek Parody – A Double PostAWeek Conundrum

By David “Captain Dave B Sart” Dysart

Internet: the final domain. These are the ramblings of the blogship PostAWeek. Its five-hundred-word mission: to explore strange new thoughts, to seek out new laughs and new silly iterations, to boldly write what no man has written before.

Staring PostAWeek author David Dysart as Captain Dave B Sart

With Performer of the Month stars

Chuck Jewels as Doctor McChuckCoy

and

Tom Fosury as Lt. Tomhura.

Also staring Paul, producer of the Performer of the Month, as Mr. SPaulck

*Claxon sounds*

*Computer explodes*

Captain Dave B Sart: EnginBloggerring, damage report!

EnginBloggerring: Captain, we’re nearly a full week late!

Captain Dave B Sart: Can we simply write this week off, as some sort of vacation week!

SPaulk: That would violate our prime directive, Captain Dave.

Captain Dave B Sart: Prime directive be damned. How are we supposed to churn out 2 PostAWeeks in as many days. Their very name implies that they’re only supposed to come about once a week!

Spaulk: May I remind you, Captain, that when you were writing the Bloggaday, you wrote a new blog every single day for an entire year.

Captain Dave B Sart: Lt. Tomhura!

Lt. Tomhura: Yes, Captain!

Chuck: Give me McChuckCoy on the com. We need his help

Lt. Tomhura: Yes, Captain! Dr. McChuckCoy, this is communication officer, Lt. Tomhura. Come in Doctor. Report to the bridge.

McChuckCoy: What is it, Tomhura. I’m up to my elbows in bursting pixels right now. The haste of this writing in hemorrhaging the quality of the work. If we don’t get a hold of this quickly, the words will lose their structural qualtegrity

Captain Dave B Sart: McChuckCoy, get up here now. We need you on the bridge to deal with this double PostAWeek on our tail!

McChuckCoy: Dammit, Dave. I’m a word doctor, not a fictional character! With the bases loaded, you don’t put your coach up to bat!

SPaulk: McChuckCoy, while I understand your preference of metaphors to illuminate others of your point of view, I find this one something of a stretch, even for you.

Captain Dave B Sart: Gentlemen! You all seem to be forgetting the two PostAWeek threatening to destroy this blog: our way of life. They mean to put in an end to our success as bloggers of the Federation. I don’t intend to let this happen. If any of you have any recommendations, now would be the time to let them be known.

Lt. Tomhura: As communications officer, I’m noticing our 500-word quota has been rapidly filled by this brainstorming session. Last week’s PostAWeek has nearly been finished as it is.

Captain Dave B Sart: And this week’s post?

SPaulk: It would be logical to assume that if we continue talking at the current rate, it will also be felled by our banter.

Captain Dave B Sart: Reduce our state to condition yellow. And for Bloggaday’s sake, turn that claxon off!

*Doors open*

McChuckCoy: He’s dead, Dave. This blog is at 500 words...

Captain Dave B Sart: That’s one PostAWeek down. Just one more to go...

McChuckCoy: Tom, why are you actually wearing the skirt...

Listening to

Alan “F’n Beautiful” Cumming

Twitter Tag

Claxons, a Vulcan, and a fictional male character in a miniskirt, only @ http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek22 #StarTrek #Parody #McCoyMetaphor

Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way

http://twitter.com/daviddysart All in all, it’s just another post in the feed

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ I’m gonna post some tumblrs

http://hangingonbelay.blogspot.com/ Got you stuck on my belay, on my belay like a figure 8

http://daviddysart.blogspot.com/ Posts become as vapid as a blogger out in Starbucks

http://tiny.cc/Facebook_DavidDysart This site has got to be the most pretentious thing

The http my own website is coming soon .com !!!! in all its Glory - and all its Horror

New to the PostAWeek? These are the essential posts to see

3 – January Performer of the Month – The first official appearance of Chuck and Tom on the PostAWeek, and a good sampler of their style.

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek3

5, 6, 7 – The February Performer of the Month Trilogy – The only Performer of the Month to span 3 posts, Chuck deals with a Batman-quoting Tom for over 1,500 words in this three-bit of brilliance

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek5

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek6

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek7

8, 9, 10 – The Mile High Diaries Trilogy – My yearly pilgrimage to the top of Mount Etatslac chronicled for the future generations to tackle the peak, written article-style with pulled quotes and all that jazz.

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek8

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek9

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek10

           

Cue foreshadowing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeJvGxVgIlA

PostAWeek 21: Woodworking, Minimalists, and Busts, Oh My! By David “Academic or Artist” Dysart

PostAWeek 21: Woodworking, Minimalists, and Busts, Oh My!

By David “Egypt Geek” Dysart

By David “Academic or Artist” Dysart

Note from the author: “Egypt Geek” and “Academic or Artist” were my second choices. I wanted to use something else from the Supernatural Parody from the VERY END of the post

All this, and I need a show to audition for. If anybody knows any good ones, let me know!!

As another academic year comes to an end, it brings about a new summer. It also means I will (Hopefully) have more time for creative endeavors. I’m not entirely sure how true this will be since I’m starting my externship the Monday after Finals week and need to start working on my thesis to propose this Fall, but I really do want to get back into the swing of things.

So I decided to make a central list of things I needed to get done. And given the fact that it’s Friday, I figured I would just make it the PostAWeek (Also, I hope that if I spend some more time thinking and writing about them, it’ll motivate me more)

To do Woodworking, Minimalists, Bust, Drawings

If you don’t know about my woodworking projects:

Theatre Props https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2580402129577.90092.1840165438&type=3

Anime Props https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.3694127492015.115248.1840165438&type=3

Wood working

Branden’s 88

For his birthday, my nephew wanted an 88 for a Nascar racer.

Kyla’s Lakers Wand

And my niece wanted a yellow and purple wand. I already bought the materials at Michaels, so it’s just a little drilling, putting together and painting

Secret collaboration

Shhhh

Seraph Blade

I bought a trenchcoat-looking coat the other day and figured I was a blue tie and seraph blade away from a sweet Castiel cosplay, so BAM! Inspiration

Lord Zedd Staff

Ever since I saw this trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4L9_MvP7zHA, I’ve wanted to do his staff

Ice and Fire

Dothraki Sword

I burned through the first 2 seasons of GoT in far too little time, so I knew I had to do something from the show. The Dothraki swords were very cool, very reminiscent of Egyptian swords (which I used to be a huge Egypt geek when I was younger, so this was kind of a have to for me.

Longclaw and dagger

I also wanted to do a sword/dagger combo from the show. And the most distinct sword on the show is definitely Longclaw. No spoilers, so I’ll just say it’s from the Night’s Watch

LotR

Legolas Bow?

I’ve wanted to do a bow for a long time, and I figured Legolas’s would be cool. Not sure yet though

Aragon sword (whole and broken)

Another one I thought would be kind of cool. I’d just have to make it twice basically

Loki’s Staff

Ooiiii. I’d love to do this one, but it would probably be a ridiculous build, so I don’t know if it would ever happen. Ideally, I’d make the head, short staff, and long staff and be able to attach it, but that DEFINITELY would never happen

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.3563640909932.112922.1840165438&type=3

Minimalist

Pegasus from Hercules

The only thing I have on my to-do list. It was a request. Forgot about it until I put the list together

Castiel: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=4314340116943&l=11d59040cf

11^th Doctor https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=4323812153738&l=7e269154c2

Captain Jack Harkness (with Spoiler) https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=4326336296840&l=f5be8c0e71

I’ve never really done realistic drawings, and very rarely done much in the way of shading, so I figured these would be fun. I figured I wouldn’t be able to do faces (which has proven true), so I chose folks with very distinctive character design, so I wouldn’t have to do faces.

Busts

X-men

   After having done 3 of these drawings, I wanted to start working on faces. So the best training ground would be cartoon characters so even if I don’t get the likeness down, people won’t notice.

Wolverine

I’ve always been a wolverine fan, so while it’d be a more simplistic drawing (unless I incorporated a hand), it might be cool)

Cyclops

Not a huge Cyclops fan, but should make for a good drawing

Cable

Lots of stuff to do here

Rogue

This one would be pretty intensive too, but I really look forward to it

Magneto

Amazing character, could be an interesting draw too

Supernatural

Dean (Leather jacket and necklace)

Would be a fair amount of layers and then the necklace, so could be an interesting draw

Castiel – Leviathan or bloodied

I’d like to take another crack at Castiel, including the face this time

Disney

Jasmine

Ugh, just tried this last night. It was a train wreck (partly because it was too small, partly because I just sucked

Ariel

Done in a realistic fashion, I think this would be a really cool drawing

Snow White

Moreso, just because it is a very distinctive character design

Doctor Who

Tennant

I dig Matt Smith, but Tennant is my Doctor. More curious to do the face study drawing for this one

Avatar

The Boulder

Well, I’d learn a lot about musculature, plus a fun character

Cabbage Merchant

                        My cabbages!

Miscellaneous

Assassin’s Creed slide blades

I actually bought the drawer slides, gosh, I don’t even know how long ago. Just need to sit down and actually do it

Replicator Bug

Ugh, another crazy old project. I have a number of blocks cut and half painted.

Listening to

The 40 Year Old Boy Podcast

Twitter Tag

Get Ready. Summer #woodworking, #minimalist #drawings, and bust #sketches, only @ http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek #creative #to-do

Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way

http://twitter.com/daviddysart All in all, it’s just another post in the feed

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ I’m gonna post some tumblrs

http://hangingonbelay.blogspot.com/ Got you stuck on my belay, on my belay like a figure 8

http://daviddysart.blogspot.com/ Posts become as vapid as a blogger out in Starbucks

http://tiny.cc/Facebook_DavidDysart This site has got to be the most pretentious thing

The http my own website is coming soon .com !!!! in all its Glory - and all its Horror

New to the PostAWeek? These are the essential posts to see

3 – January Performer of the Month – The first official appearance of Chuck and Tom on the PostAWeek, and a good sampler of their style.

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek3

5, 6, 7 – The February Performer of the Month Trilogy – The only Performer of the Month to span 3 posts, Chuck deals with a Batman-quoting Tom for over 1,500 words in this three-bit of brilliance

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek5

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek6

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek7

8, 9, 10 – The Mile High Diaries Trilogy – My yearly pilgrimage to the top of Mount Etatslac chronicled for the future generations to tackle the peak, written article-style with pulled quotes and all that jazz.

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek8

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek9

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek10

Oh, Supernatural parodies to end the PostAWeek, how I adore you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXb_jDujAxY (season 7)

Me as Castiel,

Parents as Dean,

Creativity as Crowley

Woodworking as Kevin

Me: I’m going in the garage

Parents: No, you don’t have enough time

Creativity: David, fresh from Uni. Wish you would’ve blogged first.

Me: Creativity

Creativity: Which David is it this time? Academic or Artist. I’m never really sure

Me: These projects are coming with me

Creativity: I think not. Woodworking is staying in summer now

Me: So this is how it’s going to be

Creativity: It’s very West Side Story, but let’s be logical, You look like hell week. And I should know

Creativity: Maybe you can get it up, but you can’t keep it up.

Creativity: You’re bluffing

Me: Do you want to take that chance?

PostAWeek 20: Brutus and Antony on Mark Zuckerberg By David “Favorte’d Account” Dysart

PostAWeek 20: Brutus and Antony on Mark Zuckerberg

By David “Favorte’d Account” Dysart

It’s that time of summer again. Redlands Shakespeare Festival is having their season of shows in the Redlands bowl. Unfortunately, it’s their last weekend, so you’re going to have make haste to see Caesar tonight and Loves Labor Lost tomorrow. If you need a bit more motivation, here’s how Brutus’ and Antony’s speaches would have sounded if they were dealing with Mark Zuckerberg nowadays.

Enjoy!

BRUTUS Monologue Parody

Friends, Facebookers, and Fans! Read me for my

cause, and hit “See more”, that you may read: believe me

for mine “likes,” and have respect to mine “likes,” that

you may believe: “tl:dr” me in your skimming, and

“activate” your accounts, that you may the better “share.”

If there be any in this comment thread, any Facebook friend of

Zuckerberg’s, to him I type, that Brutus’s “friend request” to Zuckerberg

was no less than his. If then that friend demand

why Brutus “deleted,” this is my answer:

--Not that I “favorite’d” Zuckerberg less, but that I liked

Facebook’s statuses more.

Had you rather Zuckerberg were posting and

all likers lurk, than that Zuckerberg were “deactivated,” to post your own statuses?

As Zuckerberg “liked” my posts, I “shared” for him;

as he was fortunate, I “congrats” at it; as he was

photobombed, I “tagged” him: but, as he was ambitious, I

“deleted” him. There is tears for his “likes;” notes for his

feed; quotes for his cleverness; and “unfriend” for his

ambition.

Who is posting so base that would be a

tweeter? If any, tweet; for him have I offended.

Who is here so rude that would not be a Facebooker? If

any, “comment;” for him have I offended. Who is here so

vile that will not “share” this post? If any, troll;

for him have I offended. I pause for a “report.”

ANTONY Monologue Parody

Friends, Facebookers, and Fans, lend me your eyes;

I come to “reactivate” Zuckerberg, not to “suggest friends” him.

The evil that men post lives after them;

The good is oft “unfollow post” with their timelines;

So let it be with Zuckerberg.

The “favorite’d” Brutus

Hath told you Zuckerberg was ambitious:

If it were so, it was a grievous post,

And grievously hath Zuckerberg commented it.

Here, under “tag” of Brutus and the rest of the Senate Page--

For Brutus is a “favorite’d” account;

So are they all, all “favorite’d” accounts—

Come I to post in Zuckerberg’s “deactivation.”

He was my “friend,” “follower” and commenter to me:

But Brutus posts he was ambitious;

And Brutus is a “favorite’d” account.

He hath “suggest friend” many accounts to Facebook

Whose “likes” did the friend’s posts did fill:

Did this in Zuckerberg seem ambitious?

When that the poor have blogged, Zuckerberg hath changed Timeline:

Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:

Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;

And Brutus is a “favorite’d” account.

You all did see that on the UStream

I thrice presented him a “Follow Friday,”

Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?

Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;

And, sure, he is a “favorite’d” account.

I post not to “unlike” what Brutus updated,

But here I am to post what I do know.

You all did “like” him once, not without post:

What cause withholds you then, to like his fan page?

O judgment! thou art fled to anonymous trolls,

And men have lost their “Share”. Bear with me;

My “like” is in the deactivated account there with Zuckerberg,

And I must stare at the screen till it come back to me.

For an unparodied version of the speech, see Julius Caesar along with Loves Labor Lost and Taming of the Shrew in their final weekend of shows starting this Thursday https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151547378502929&set=a.459472702928.244680.134534482928&type=1&theater

For Brutus’s parody, be sure to read PostAWeek 20 this weekend, right here on my Facebook https://www.facebook.com/thedaviddysart?sk=notes or on Tumblr http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/

Listening to

The old Definitive Davidian Collections soundtracks. I had really good taste

Twitter Tag

There was a great tragedy today. The favorte’d account, Brutus, deactivated Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook account, only @ http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek20 #TheatreProblems

Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way

http://twitter.com/daviddysart All in all, it’s just another post in the feed

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ I’m gonna post some tumblrs

http://hangingonbelay.blogspot.com/ Got you stuck on my belay, on my belay like a figure 8

http://daviddysart.blogspot.com/ Posts become as vapid as a blogger out in Starbucks

http://tiny.cc/Facebook_DavidDysart This site has got to be the most pretentious thing

The http my own website is coming soon .com !!!! in all its Glory - and all its Horror

New to the PostAWeek? These are the essential posts to see

3 – January Performer of the Month – The first official appearance of Chuck and Tom on the PostAWeek, and a good sampler of their style.

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek3

5, 6, 7 – The February Performer of the Month Trilogy – The only Performer of the Month to span 3 posts, Chuck deals with a Batman-quoting Tom for over 1,500 words in this three-bit of brilliance

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek5

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek6

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek7

8, 9, 10 – The Mile High Diaries Trilogy – My yearly pilgrimage to the top of Mount Etatslac chronicled for the future generations to tackle the peak, written article-style with pulled quotes and all that jazz.

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek8

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek9

http://tiny.cc/PostAWeek10

           

To accept or not. That is the question. Rather tis nobler to suffer the game requests and pokes or to simply go outside and live life like a normal person.